If one woman is not enough for you, one hundred women will not be enough for you. Solomon had 300 wives and 700 concubines yet he wanted Queen Sheba. The problem is not your woman. The problem is you. You can look for a thousand and one reasons to justify your philandering ways, but the truth is that you're sick and you need help.

The primary essence of a relationship is not sex. It is companionship. Being with a person who completes you; with whom you can be vulnerable, open about your feelings, share your dreams, aspirations and pains, get encouragement and support...that's a proper relationship and the essence of being marriage.

It is an error for sex to be the primary attraction. There are 24 hours in a day. Let's say you spend 3 hours having sex – based on say you no get work – which is highly unlikely – what will you spend the remaining 21 hours doing?

Dating or being married to a person who you can't talk with and play with is one of the most foolish mistakes you can make in your short time on earth.

CATEGORIES OF MEN TO AVOID AS A CHRISTIAN LADY READY TO MINGLE

CATEGORIES OF MEN TO AVOID AS A CHRISTIAN LADY READY TO MINGLE

♦ A visionless man: A man that lacks vision can never have vision for the marriage. He lacks foresight for himself, you as an intending wife to be and his children.

♦ An atheist: A man who does not believe in the living God can never be compatible with you in marriage.

He don't believe in the Almighty God (Jehovah) and you call yourself a Christian, don't mingle into marriage with him.

♦ A proud man: He is so proud that he can't humble himself to say sorry, instead he raise unnecessary arguments to justify himself, avoid him.

If you blindly enter into wedlock with him, you'll always be the guilty one whenever there's a misunderstanding because he won't admit he's wrong.

♦ A jealous and envious man: Your success as a young lady or woman makes him uncomfortable, and he don't support your dreams rather he despise your achievements, avoid him. 

Take an inventory check of yourself, check if you're making progress or retrogressing after you met this dude.

♦ A womanizer: He play games with women's heart and body, and you know about it, stay clear from him. To you, "he loves you more than them and has even promised to stop", it's better to break up with him than you being broken in marriage. 

In marriage, both your heart and body will be broken as a result of constant beatings from him.

♦ A sluggard: He don't have something doing for cash flow and he's not willing to do anything. All he does is to call his wealthy relations and friends to request for money.

He boast with their riches not his own. 

Know this, the son of a rich man is not rich until he has his own source of income aside his father's wealth.

♦ An undisciplined man: He lacks discipline, he talks and behaves anyhow.

He has no principles guiding his life, avoid him.

♦ An incorrigible man: He can never admit his wrong dispositions, talk more of taking corrections. Christian ladies, avoid him.

♦ A man without godly authority over him: He might be a Christian but he does not submit to his father or spiritual fathers and mentor, run for your dear life.

♦ A winebibber: He drinks alcohol and is a drunkard, avoid him.

Drunkards are not achievers, avoid them.

♦ A prayerless man: A man who cannot take advantage of his priesthood position in his home me and command how things will be in his family from the realm of the spirit, he is a joker. 

♦ Christian Ladies, be wise and do not be deceived. If you feel you are being blinded by love today in that relationship where the warning signs are visible already, a horrible marriage will open your eyes tomorrow.

Look deep into that relationship and be honest to yourself. 

10 TOP TRAITS OF A GREAT HUSBAND

10 TOP TRAITS OF A GREAT HUSBAND

“Are you a great husband? Do you want to be one’? Do you want to be a husband the wife will adore honour and hero-worship? Then all you just need to do is to develop the trait of a great husband and have the trait of a great dad.

(1) THE FEAR OF THE LORD – ¬The first trait of a great husband is the fear of the Lord. He fears the lord enough to obey his word, he fears the lord enough to love and provide for his wife, no husband can be said to be great if he didn't fear the Lord.

(2) HE IS OF A GODLY CHARACTER – A great husband is of a Godly character, he is meek, gentle, caring, loving, ready to forgive supportive, wise and talk with wisdom.

He is not stingy, he is honest, doesn’t go to night clubs, he doesn’t drink, smoke or unfaithful to his wife.

(3) HE IS IN LOVE – He loves his wife with all his heart and he is not ashamed to let anybody know this. He expresses the love to the wife at any given opportunity.

(4) HE RESPECTS AND HONOUR HIS WIFE – When you see a man that embarrasses his wife in the public, he is a baby husband, he is not a great man. A great husband respects and honour his wife and give all glory to God.

(5) HE IS A GOOD COMMUNICATOR – There is nothing a woman wants more than to be her talking mate. She needs a man to listen passionately to her when – She talks, a great husband is good at this. He is open to his wife, he speaks the truth in love, and he is always positive in his reaction to his wife.

(6) HE IS A GREAT LEADER – He is never a boss, he is a leader, he knows how to make his people follow him without forcing them. He has a vision and he shares the vision with his family, he influences the family and he leads by example, he makes his people work without warring with them, he makes them do all things with joy.

(7) HE IS DILIGENT – A great husband is a worker, he is not lazy, he knows that favour comes only on the train of labour and not idleness, he put his hands to work and make bread available to his family.

(8) HE SATISFY HIS WIFE BEDROOM DESIRES – A great husband is romantic, he knows how to make his wife enjoy him, he is tender, patient and careful with his wife in the bedroom, he knows that foreplay is a must if a woman must enjoy sex, hence he never rush the wife but bring her up before any sexual act.

(9) HE GIVES HIS WIFE PEACE – The wife of a great husband is always unhappy to see him leave because he is a man of peace, no fighting, no bitter argument, no abusing or cursing, no shouting, malice, bitterness ” resentment, bickering and hatred with a great husband. he is a source of joy to his darling wife.

(10) HE IS COMMITTED TO MAKE HIS MARRIAGE WORK : He never threatens the wife with beating, separation or divorce, he is ready to give his marriage anything to make it work, his wife his number one in his life after God, his wife is his thinking partner, prayer partner, bedmate, soul mate, lover one and the only one.

May the Lord give you the grace, wisdom and understanding to be a great husband in Jesus name

 

𝙎𝙀𝙑𝙀𝙉 𝙒𝘼𝙔𝙎 𝙏𝙃𝙀 𝙀𝙉𝙀𝙈𝙔 𝙄𝙎 𝘼𝙏𝙏𝘼𝘾𝙆𝙄𝙉𝙂 𝙋𝘼𝙎𝙏𝙊𝙍𝙎 𝘼𝙉𝘿 𝘾𝙃𝙐𝙍𝘾𝙃𝙀𝙎

𝙎𝙀𝙑𝙀𝙉 𝙒𝘼𝙔𝙎 𝙏𝙃𝙀 𝙀𝙉𝙀𝙈𝙔 𝙄𝙎 𝘼𝙏𝙏𝘼𝘾𝙆𝙄𝙉𝙂 𝙋𝘼𝙎𝙏𝙊𝙍𝙎 𝘼𝙉𝘿 𝘾𝙃𝙐𝙍𝘾𝙃𝙀𝙎

The evil one seems to be ramping up his spiritual attacks on pastors and Churches today like never before. The gates of hell is really trying to prevail against the church in every locality and community of the world. What are 7 ways the enemy is doing this?

𝟏. 𝐏𝐑𝐈𝐍𝐂𝐈𝐏𝐀𝐋𝐈𝐓𝐈𝐄𝐒 𝐀𝐍𝐃 𝐏𝐎𝐖𝐄𝐑𝐒 𝐈𝐍 𝐋𝐎𝐂𝐀𝐋𝐈𝐓𝐈𝐄𝐒

Recently, a pastor told me the story of how his 200 member church closes down within one year in a community. Thieves broke into the church and stole the ringing bell and prayer cloth of the pastor. And pronto, people stopped coming to the church the next Sunday. That is spiritual warfare by hosts of darkness in that locality. Forces of darkness in communities are arrayed against any church that brings light of the gospel to the people. And they are destroying churches due principally to the ignorance of pastors concerning spiritual warfare.

𝟐. 𝐓𝐇𝐄 𝐋𝐄𝐀𝐃𝐄𝐑𝐒 𝐀𝐍𝐃 𝐏𝐀𝐒𝐓𝐎𝐑𝐒 𝐅𝐀𝐌𝐈𝐋𝐘

The Christian family is under attack today because if the evil one can create havoc in their family, then he can undermine the work of Christ on earth. Some church members have an unreasonable expectation of the Pastor or Church Leader’s family. One example is that they expect their children to be close to perfect. When they see their children act up in ways contrary to the way that they expect them to act, they believe that the Pastor and his wife are doing a poor job in raising them. The thing is that children are going to act like children. We cannot expect the Pastor or the Church Leader’s children to be little angels because they are still children. The children of Pastors have unfair expectations being put on them. Many of the congregants falsely believe this when they read 1st Timothy 3:4 which says “He must manage his own household well, with all dignity keeping his children submissive.” They reason that “A deacon must be faithful to his wife and must manage his children and his household well” _(1 Timothy 3:12)_ and that “if someone does not know how to manage his own household, how will he care for God’s church” _(1 Timothy 3:5)?_ Yes, they should be in submission but they are also going to still be children and no matter what a parent does they are still in the process of growing in maturity. Then there are unreasonable expectations about the Pastor or Church Leader’s wife. She is just as much a part of the ministry as her husband is but when they are over critical of her by putting under a magnifying glass, she feels like she is always under scrutiny.

𝟑. 𝐂𝐇𝐔𝐑𝐂𝐇 𝐃𝐈𝐕𝐈𝐒𝐈𝐎𝐍

There may be nothing more destructive to a church than division and when the congregation starts to divide over non-essential issues then the Pastor or the Church Leaders can end up being stuck in the middle of it. I heard of one large church a few years ago that actually divided over the color of the carpet and when the Pastor tried to heal the rift, both sides seemed to feel that he was siding with the others. What ended up happening was that half the church left to begin a new church and the Church Leaders took the blame. This all started at a board meeting when the members couldn’t agree on what the color of the new carpet should be. Sometimes the church leaders and the pastoral staff divide over things that are non-essential like how a children’s ministry should be run, what the goals should be, and who should be over the ministry. If the enemy can create a division or rift between the members and the Church Leaders and the Pastor, he can destroy the integrity of the leadership and the church will suffer as a whole.

𝟒. 𝐁𝐔𝐑𝐍𝐎𝐔𝐓

When Church Leaders and Pastors do not delegate, they begin to be overburdened by the load. I had to learn this the hard way. It’s just too easy for the Pastor or Church Leaders to see everything that needs to be done at a church and then decide to just do it all themselves when volunteers are often more than willing to help. The church depends on volunteers, who are in reality unpaid staff, to do the things that no one or two people could ever possibly do. Perhaps it’s pride, the cause of Satan’s fall, that seems to necessitate the need for Church Leaders to handle everything themselves. When burn out comes, and it will come under these conditions, then those things that are the priorities of the church will suffer and the church leadership will suffer. When the church leadership gets overburdened, then the church as a whole begins to feel it. Satan loves it when there is so much business that the real purpose of the church, the kingdom-building, is left undone by the distraction of the many tasks that only a few are handling.

𝟓. 𝐆𝐎𝐒𝐒𝐈𝐏 𝐀𝐍𝐃 𝐑𝐔𝐌𝐎𝐑𝐒

Next to church division, gossip and the spreading of false rumors might be the biggest thing that destroys the integrity of the church leadership. If people are whispering behind the backs of Church Leaders then the effectiveness of their ministry can be destroyed. I remember hearing about a new Pastor that was hired and he went to visit a potential member who lived upstairs next to a bar in an upstairs apartment. One of the church members saw the new Pastor going into what she thought was the bar and thought that was scandalous. When she mentioned this to another church member, rumors started flowing throughout the church that the new Pastor might have a problem with alcohol. The fact is that the door that lead up to the apartment of the potential member was adjacent to the bar and wasn’t actually the entrance to the bar. What the church member saw and what was reality was not the same thing. When the rumor somehow got back to the new Pastor, he was more surprised than anyone. He addressed this at the pulpit the next Sunday and started preaching about gossip and rumors and how these destroy a person’s reputation and hurts the witness of the church in the community. The enemy loves to have us spread lies and false witnesses because there is almost nothing more destructive to a Pastor or a Church Leader than to hear about something that seems contrary to their expectations. Gossiping is almost the same as character assassination or slandering a person’s good name when most of the time it turns out to be false.

𝟔.𝐃𝐈𝐒𝐂𝐎𝐔𝐑𝐀𝐆𝐄𝐌𝐄𝐍𝐓

This may be one of the enemy’s most effective weapons because when discouragement hits, it takes away the vitality and purpose of the Pastor and church leadership. It is so easy to become discouraged when church membership begins to shrink or when those who have certain positions in the church begin to lose interest in it. Every one of us faces discouragement from time to time and so this is why it is so important to be the BARNABAS in the church. Here’s what I mean. Barnabas was an encourager and gave people the benefit of the doubt. When no one else trusted Saul after his conversion it was Barnabas that spoke up for him. When Sanballat kept attacking and trying to discourage the workers who were trying to rebuild the walls of Jerusalem under Nehemiah, he knew where to hit them. He wanted them to focus on just how much work there was to do and how the threat of the workers being attacked and killed would discourage the workers and from completing the work. It got so bad that Judah said, ‘The strength of the bearers of burdens is decayed, and there is much rubbish; so that we are not able to build the wall’” _(Nehemiah 4:10)._ Sanballat, and Tobiah, and Geshem the Arabian used lies, rumors, threats, and fear to try and discourage the workers and their leaders from finishing the rebuilding of the walls. It almost worked but Nehemiah kept his focus on completing the task and didn’t allow circumstances to discourage him or the workers. If the enemy can discourage the Pastor and Church Leaders then he can weaken the work of the Lord or make it stop altogether.

𝟕. 𝐂𝐎𝐌𝐏𝐑𝐎𝐌𝐈𝐒𝐄𝐃 𝐏𝐔𝐋𝐏𝐈𝐓.

The event kills off any church gradually by corrupting and compromising the pulpit. Any pulpit that no longer declares the undiluted word of God without fear is highly compromised and it will kill the life of God in the pew. God will only work and confirm His word, not the ideas and opinions of men, no matter how highly placed or ordained they are. Satan kills churches and stopped Holy Spirit from working by removing the true word of God from the pulpits. Most pulpits of today glories in Fun, Feasting and Fashions. Most churches of today are n cl deep in Celebrations, Ceremonies and Collections. No wonder there is so much nominalism and secularism gaining upper hand in modern churches.

𝐂𝐎𝐍𝐂𝐋𝐔𝐒𝐈𝐎𝐍

If you are a Pastor or a Church Leader or even if you are a church member, know that you and the church are under spiritual attacks from the enemy. The more successful a church’s ministry is, the more likely they’ll be under the enemies attack. Satan doesn’t bother with church’s that are simply going through the motion, churches that are not busy doing kingdom-work, churches that are not evangelizing, and churches that are not discipling members to grow in holiness. He’ll use church division, gossip and rumors, burnout, discouragement and trying to create havoc in Church Leader’s families to bring down a church. He normally starts at the top… with the Pastors and Church Leaders. He reasons that if he can destroy or make the leadership ineffective, then his work is done.

MEN TAKE NOTE.!!!!

MEN TAKE NOTE.!!!!

To my fellow men,🤵 why is it that most of you have no single respect for women?👩

All we think is how to have sex with them and the next thing is to dump them like hot kettle and make them a topic of discussion among our friends.

She allowed you have s+x with her because she felt secured with you, she saw you as a good and responsible person.

She allowed you go to bed with her because she believed in all the fakes promises you made to her. Some of you even go to the extent of promising them marriage just because you want to have s+x with them. MEN WHY???

Why making her believe in you when you know you just wanna use her and dump her?

Why making her have high expectations on you??

Since you know you don't have intention of settling down with her then why having s+x with her??

The one that annoy me most is the fact that after you get what you want you loose Respect for her, you no longer see her as a human being that should be cared for. 

You start seeing her like a fool, you start seeing her as if she's a cheap brat. 

She's cheap because she accepted you right?.. if you wanna know how expensive she is then go to her inbox and see how many guys she's disappointing on each day just to be with you.

Why don't you learn to love and appreciate your woman?

A man can have sex with a woman he's not in love with, but a woman will never have sex with a man she's not in love with. She allowed have sex with her because she loves you.

You treat women like they are trash, you have forgotten so soon that you came into this life through a woman and you were also raised by a woman. 

Women should be highly respected in this world because they go through a lot just to see us through in life.

RESPECT YOUR WOMAN!!!!

THANKS!!!!

WHY DO KIDS LIE?

WHY DO KIDS LIE?

The first answer to this question is: "How did you react the last time they told you the truth?" 

How did you react the last time your child was truthful about a mistake?

Were you furious? Did you shame them?

Think about it, will anyone tell you the truth if they get the above response?

Try the following instead:

1: Do not ask yes/no questions. Eg: did you break this? Such questions are scary for a child as it shows the person responsible will be in trouble.

Rather, ask how did this glass break? 

2: Monitor your reactions. Do not shame or label your child a liar. It will make them not to wish to tell you the truth even the next time. Our kids don't lie because they are bad, they are just probably scared of our reactions.

3: Rather than lecturing, have kids help you figure out what happened and why it was wrong. Ask how did this happen? How can we fix this? What can we do to prevent this from happening? 

4: Ask questions that will help them see the whole situation. What exactly happened, why they did what they did and what made them lie. 

5: Let your child know everyone makes mistakes; but they need to be honest to keep your trust. 

6: Appreciate and praise when they tell you the truth. Tell them you are proud of them for telling the truth and being so courageous. 

❌We never want our kids to think "my parents will be so angry." 

✅We want our kids first thought to be "I need to tell my parents." 

Let's create this environment from TODAY. We all want our kids to tell us their issues without fear, we should be the first one they come to for any problem they face now and in future. 

Handle their small problems now; they will bring their bigger issues to you when they are in their tweens and teens. 

REMEMBER the way you react to your child lies matters!

A healthy parenting is no joke.✍️

20 THINGS MAKE MARRIAGE SUCCESSFUL

20 THINGS THAT MAKES MARRIAGES WORK SUCCESSFUL

Our Journey of matrimony started 19 Years ago at exactly 11:45am on May 4th, 2002 at Christ Gospel Apostolic Church, Alekuwodo Osogbo, Osun State.

In those 19 eventful years, it has been a period learning, earning, growing, knowing and moving forward. It has been years of Schooling indeed, practical school of Life with privilege of mentoring others as we move on together.

1: YOUR SPEED IS DETERMINED BY BOTH OF YOU

One great lesson I learnt early in Marriage is the fact that the speed of People in Marriage is determined by both of them not just by one, so if they work together they get result if they fight instead of moving on, both will suffer for it.

The Picture of ‘’one legged race’’ in my Primary School always come to my mind, one leg each of two people will be tie together and they have to run 100 Meters dash together, they have to merge their strengths, weaknesses, techniques etc to be able to get a good result.

This is exactly the picture of Marriage, not just our legs are joined together, life, vision, future and destinies are joined together, IF WE WORK AS A TEAM AND NOT WAR IN THE TEAM WE CAN WIN OUR WAR.

2: IF YOU EMPOWER YOUR WIFE YOU ARE ONLY EMPOWERING YOURSELF

If you support your Wife or Husband to succeed in His or Career you are only helping yourself, I saw this playing out in my Marriage and the marriages of others around me.

Lots of People attack their Spouses sources of income when things go wrong in marriage. When a Man fail to empower his Wife, if anything happen to him, relatives will turn his Children to House boys and girls.

3: WOMEN ARE TRULY FE-MALES

Until I got married I did not know the true meaning of Female, sometime after my Wedding read it somewhere that the true meaning if Female if Male-with feelings, Feeling-Male. This is true of all Women, if you want to be a great Husband you must learn how to feed her emotion and take good care of her feelings.

4: GOD WILL BE VERY IMPORTANT ALL THE WAYS

Lots of People involve God in their choice making but do neglect him soon after their Wedding. I realized that You will need God more in Marriage than in Choice making. In fact you will need him in the Journey all the way. In pregnancy, delivery, raining of your Children, family living you will need him.

5: SEX WILL NOT ALWAYS BE WAHT YOU THINK

Lots of youths went into Marriage with big expectation of explosive sex in their Marriage, some guys even think of 24/7, wao, Marriage is not like that, sex in a marriage can be of explosive, and atimes dry or non existence. You remember that the woman will be prégnant, mensurations, just delivered, sick, tired, have night ‘’Head aches’’, will travel, be busy with her career etc.

All these will affect sex in Marriage, but lots of young ones do Make sex thé reason they are getting married, there disappointment will start after yes I do.

6: YOU NEED TO DEVELOP SPOUSAL BIAS

In marriage I learnt that their will be lots of times you will need to choose between some people and your Wife. This may be your Family, Neighbors, Friends, Career etc.

Knowing that the Wife or Husband should come first after God is very important to the success of any Marriage, been bias in favour of your Spouse is the Key to the health of any Home.

7: HEALTH IS VERY IMPORTANT

Two incidents happened to People around me in 2010 that woke me up from my slumber as far as health issues and healthy living is concern. These incidents made me realize that investment in health is very important and that If you neglect your health you are only preparing yourself for constant Hospital visit and costly and painful treatments.

8: MONEY WILL ALWAYS BE IMPORTANT

People marry for love, but they are going to live together spending Money. I discovered that Romance will be easy when there is Finance, my experience counselling lots of Couples made me to to always say jokingly that if you want your Wife to call you Honey give her Money, if you don’t give her Money she will think you are Monkey.

9: THERE ARE VULTURES IN MARRIAGE

I got to know very early in marriage that there are some People called Vulture around marriages. These Vultures most of the time are People very close to you, your Friends and Family Members, yes they can be the worst enemies of your Marriage.

When marriage has issues most Family Members takes side with their own and fight the Spouse dirty result very difficult marriage, they make the home more difficult for their Family Member, makes reconciliation impossible or difficult.

I got to know that People that love you can be number one enemy of your Marriage. In showing you love they can hurt your Marriage dearly.

10: WALLS AND BOUNDRY IS TO BE BUILT

I discover Years ago that there are two Vultures that can destroy a Home and we need to handle them differently.

To the Vultures that are far like Friends and Ex’s we need to build Walls to protected our marriages. But for our Families that we can not run away from we need to build boundries

11: A BROKEN GLASS CUP SHOULD NOT LEAD TO BROKEN MARRIAGE

During our wedding a good Friend of mine gave us a set of Glass Cups as a Wedding gift, I love these Cup passionately as they are blue in Color and very beautiful.

One day my new bride was about to serve our Food, she put one of the Cups inside the train and the Cups roll down and broke, I was very sad, but I got up to help her. To my surprise another Cup got broken in her hands in almost the same situation few days later but my concern was her safety and not the Cups, but I was not happy that two of my precious twelve Cups are gone.

Few days later, I wanted to pick from the Fridge, on these Fridge where the remaining Cups and the Fridge shook and all the Cups came down at the same time and broke, she broke two within a Week, I broke Ten within a Minute. If I had abuse of fight her for breaking my precious Cups what do you expect her to do when I broke all the remaining Ten in a minute, lesson leant, broken Cups should not lead to broken Marriage

12: LIFE IS IN PHACES PEOPLE ARE IN SIZES

One thing I learnt so early in Marriage is never to compete with anybody.

People do buy what they don’t need or afford to impress people they don’t like and oppress people that do not like them and they do end up in debt and penury.

Reading S.M.O Aka Book titled My Fathers Car in secondary School really help me to prepare for a life that is not based on competing with others but on completing your own race, this really helped.

13: IF YOU ARE LOOKING FOR A PERFECT SPOUSE YOU NEED TO LOOK AMONG ANGELS

Marriage will teach anybody in it that he or she is not perfect and his or her partner can never be perfect. This really help as we step into the Journey of Marriage and we have to disagree on whether light should be off or On, I wanted the light On when sleeping but she wanted it off, if the light is on she won’t be able to sleep, it cause lots of issues when we just got married, that proof we are both human and never perfect.

14: JOURNEY OF MARRIAGE INVOLVES BEEN STRONG TOGETHER

I learnt that Journey of marriage involves been strong together and fighting for your future together.

We had our own share of battles that we fought together through God, is the battles of losing the roof of our House the day our first Child was three years old and became homeless for about a Month, or the loss of my younger Brother and my Father within a Month interval, loss of my Father In Law when it was least expected, Sickness of our Daughter that needed urgent surgery, or my Leg that needed to be operated upon with our annual Couples Conference few days away.

We overcame all these because we stood together, cry together, rejoice together and Won together. It is a great lesson, you can’t win your War when you fight alone or fight each other.

15: A HOME NEED A HOUSE

Two years into our Marriage my Father in Law, We fondly call him Baba Akede suddenly showed up one day in my House, he drove all the way from Oshogbo to see me.

Later that night he took me out personally to discus with me, he asked me. When are you moving into your own House? The question was not expected at all as we just got married and trying to settle down, the talk of Building of buying a House was not there at all.

The old Man made me to know that a Home is not existing without a House, he also said the longer I wait to build the more difficult it will be to build as Children will start to come, responsibilities will be rising for about 25 Years, until the first Child graduate from School and by then he said I may be in my 50s or knocking 60s. He also said I don’t need Money to build a House, I only need Vision.

Baba Akede words became my guiding principles I ended up moving into my own House within two years of his Visit.

16: PEOPLE WILL ALWAYS BE HUMANS BUT YOU NEED TO STICK TOGETHER

My 20 Years in Marriage is like going to the ‘’University of the People’’ I learnt that People will always behave as Humans, but I have to stick with my Wife.

Many that we greatly trusted became great disappointment, many that we helped and supported turned it against us and slam it against us.

In all these I learnt great lessons, Couples must stick together in face of Liars, backstabbers, haters and hypocrite.

17: IN LAWS MANAGEMENT WILL ALWAYS BE A TECHNICAL ONE

Two sets of In laws are involve in every Marriage, the Husband’s Family will be the Wife in-laws and vice versa. All young Couples will have to deal with these set of in laws and issues May rise from any side. But in Africa, most issue do rise from the Husband’s Family, the Wife’s In law, most especially from the principal In law, the Mother In law.

Early in our marriage we made clear to ourselves how to handle both families and how to stick together and not allow People to come between us but to take care of our Family Members to the best of our ability most especially our Parents and younger ones. This really work for us.

18: CONTINUOS LEARNING IS THE KEY TO THE SUCCESS OF ANY MARRIAGE

I meant in marriage that nobody will ever be a graduate, forget about the certificate they gave you on your Wedding day, please note that what they gave you was a WEDDING CERTIFICATE, not MARRIAGE CERTIFICATE, they gave you a certificate of participation in the Wedding, for attending the Wedding, not Certificate to make marriage work, always remember that WEDDING CERTIFICATE IS A LEARNER’S PERMIT, NOT A DRIVERS LICENCE

19: MARRIAGE IS A MARATHON NOT A SPRINT

The Journey of Marriage is not an 100 meters dash or 4 by 100 relay, it is a marathon, Marathon involves running for a long time, Climbing Mountains, Valleys, Streams, hills, Cities, villages, Marriage also involve many years, issues, decisions, talking, working, making Money, spending it together, fighting wars, winning battles, giving birth to Children, raising them, meeting People losing them, working, vacation, Stress, sickness, healings, loving each other, hurts, forgiveness, conflict resolutions and lots more

Lots of young ones do go into marriage just to fulfill their lusts, meet present needs, based on emotion, tipsy of Love like a drunken Man, the Journey of Marriage Marathon will open their eyes.

20: WHEN YOU STOP DATING YOUR MARRIAGE STARTS DYING: It me some time in my Marriage but I later realized that when Couple stop dating their marriage starts dying immediately. The gradual decline will not be noticeable at first, but gradually you will see it.

It starts with hurts, to offenses, to arguments to speaking cutting words to each other, then full blown fight and endless bickering.

When warring Couples sees a Counsellor to settle disputes they will talk about their offenses but will fail to note that, their misunderstanding did not start the decline in their marriage but failure to connect, to intimate and deliberately spend time together to play, gist and connect with a Babylike innocenc